"Yes"

There are times in life when it's a good idea to be practical and think in logical terms. Then there are other times when practicalities and logic place limitations upon us. This was one time that fell into the latter category. So, Mario and I spoke different languages...so we lived 5000 miles apart...so we hadn't seen each other in awhile. These three factors could serve as valid reasons for not pursuing a relationship with each other or they could prove to limit us and prevent us both from experiencing some of the greatest love and happiness of our lives. The more I thought about it, the more I wondered why I had ever limited myself with such beliefs in the first place. Yes, the obstacles Mario and I would face were a bit bigger than other couples, but an obstacle is an obstacle and you choose to either work through it or let it take control of you.

When I emailed Mario and told him I had regretted the decision I'd made the summer before and wondered if he would still be interested in trying again, he didn't hesitate to say "yes." A flurry of emails lead to our first phone call ever, where I heard Mario's voice for the first time in almost thirty years and heard him tell me the words we had been too shy to say to one another in August 1980, "I love you." We made plans for me to visit Mario in Germany in August 2010. After awhile, it became clear that for me to come visit him for a week or two, then leave all over again would be next to unbearable for the both of us. So the plans for me to visit evolved, too.

Is it possible that the love you feel for someone can lie dormant for years; a lifetime even, waiting to be awakened? Or had we fallen in love for a second time? Can two people be destined to be together to such a degree that they don't need years to figure it out? I believe the answer to all of these questions is "yes."

Social protocol would have had us corresponding through email, talking on the phone and traveling back and forth to visit each other for a year or so, then spending another year deciding if our relationship was going to make it and what logistics would give us the best chance. But when you feel that you've already lost thirty years, social protocol flies out the window, along with anything else falling into the category of "What Other People Think." Sure, my children's thoughts on the situation were important and they asked intelligent, valid questions and I gave them honest answers. Without hesitation, my children told me they wanted me to be happy and if this was what I wanted then I had their full support. That was all that mattered to me.

In May 2010, after discussing the possibility of Mario moving to the United States and me moving to Germany, we decided we would give Germany a try first. The days since then have been filled with talking about important details and discussing the inconsequential little things that made us who we are. Mario and I have laughed together, he's listened to me cry, we've argued and through it all our love has grown. Every once in awhile one of us will get a reality check and say to the other, "We'll be together in X amount of days...after thirty years! It's a crazy story!" And, yes, it is a crazy story. But it's our story and we wake up each day and say "yes" to continuing this crazy story of ours.

Mary, 1980

Mary, 2010

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Mario, 1980

Mario, 2010