I arrived in Germany a little over six months ago with my life packed into two suitcases and one pale pink carry-on bag. I came here to live with my boyfriend but, in the process, have also learned and grown...not just as a person living in a foreign country, but as a person, in general.
Initially, I was hard on myself if I had difficulty adjusting to or dealing with language barriers, finding my way around, gray skies or the occasional day where I wondered what the heck I'd done. Over time, I have learned to be kinder to myself and realize that even though it was my choice to come here there will still be periods of adjustment and days or weeks like that can rear their ugly heads repeatedly over the next years.
The newness of the town in which we live has been traded in for familiarity. Our small town has become as comfortable as a stretched out pair of gym shoes while retaining the charm that won me over when I first arrived. Daily walks through town reveal the same bakeries, confectionaries and boutiques as usual yet I somehow manage to discover something new on every walk....like flowers in bloom peaking out of the hard winter ground in someone's courtyard in mid-December or the renovation of an old restaurant building that was closed when I first got here.
Normal life prevails here and I spend my days doing many of the same things other people are doing all around the world. I work, cook, clean, run errands and meet friends for coffee. Rather than viewing these activities as mundane I see them as signs that I'm adjusting and creating a life for myself here. A recent trip...my first since moving to Germany...back to see my family in Illinois, helped me to connect the life I lead before I came here with the life I lead now. And that was important. Without realizing it I had been trying to keep myself emotionally spread out between my family in Illinois and my sweetheart and friends here and around the world. What I learned was that I don't need to try. Home is where the heart is and it travels with you wherever you go. My home resides in the love I have for my children, my sweetheart and my friends. Home is not a building or structure but the love you give and receive and the memories you build together with the important people in your life. I am no longer feeling pulled between two continents because I know that kind of love stays with you no matter where you are.
Our love story continues as we head into our seventh month together. By all outward appearances you would think Mario and I have been together for the last thirty years. We take turns cooking and cleaning, have developed rituals and traditions such as watching one James Bond movie together each week and we laugh together a lot. Sense of humor is important and we have fun together...though I must say we are both easily amused.
Tomorrow we will take our second trip to Eringerfeld...the place where our love story began some thirty years ago. Going back to the old school and walking around the grounds sends me back to August 1980 and, once more, I am sixteen years old and madly in love with a tall German boy whose language I can barely understand. When I glance over at him now and look in his eyes I see that same boy, feel the same flutter in my heart and know that some things were just meant to be.
